Tired
by mylife9
Summary: ON HIATUS. Harry was tired. Tired of people's expectations. Tired of not doing anything. Just tired of everything going on in his life. He doesn't want to live this tired life anymore, so, the question is, what is he going to do now?
1. chapter one

**author's note:** alrighty then! i've started a new story (obviously). i've read a lot of harry potter stories that dealt with this, so i guess you can expect to see a plot that you've seen like a million times. i'm sorry about that. umm… also, i'm not too sure yet if harry is going to be with anyone yet. i'm still debating on that. also, the other characters will be included in the story; as to how much of a degree… well… i'll figure it out as i go i think. anyways, despite how short this chapter is (it's really more like a prologue than anything i believe) i hope you enjoy it nonetheless!

**author's note two:** this is a multi chaptered story. it will have i-don't-know-how-many chapters.

**disclaimer:** i don't own harry potter. j.k. rowling, warner brothers, and all other affiliates do. if i did own harry potter, it wouldn't exist. *smile*

**summary:** Harry was tired. Tired of people's expectations. Tired of not doing anything. Just tired of everything going on in his life. He doesn't want to live this tired life anymore, so, the question is, what is he going to do now?

_Harry Potter_

_Tired_

Harry was really tired. Tired of fighting a war he was thrust into when he was eleven. Tired of having to deal with the wizarding population love him one minute and hate him the next. Tired of being treated like a disease. Tired of being treated like a scientific experiment, something to be poked and gawked at. Tired of knowing people whose loyalties change as fast as you can blink. Tired of having to deal with hatred and loathing when all he wanted was love. Tired of keeping up his brave, reckless, stupid façade.

Harry was really tired. Tired enough to know that he couldn't do this anymore. He couldn't take the backseat anymore. He needed to grab his life by the horns and never let go. He needed to get control of his life, fast, before his life completely consumed him.

**author's note:** well. that's the first chapter! sorry for it being ridiculously short. like i said before, think of it like a prologue. this chapter is really here to show haw harry is feeling and how close to the edge he is really. the next chapter is definitely longer than this, but nothing happens so it's kind of a moot point i think. hopefully you'll read it anyways! *laughs* also, if there is anything bothering you about this story so far, please leave it in a review or pm. thank you!


	2. chapter two

**author's note:** chapter two! this chapter is a lot longer than the last one. i believe these chapters will be pretty long.

**disclaimer:** i don't own harry potter. j.k. rowling, warner brothers, and all other affiliates do. if i did own harry potter, it wouldn't exist. *smile*

**summary:** He was tired of everything that had happened and is happening to him. So, the question is, what could he do to change that?

_Harry Potter_

_Tired_

Harry was lying face down in his bed with his comforter around his waist. His arms were wrapped around the pillow his head was currently under. He tried, vainly, to get himself up, but all he could think about was the fact that he couldn't move even if his house was on burning to ashes around him. He was terribly tired. That tired you get from dealing with the same problems over and over and over again without pause. It was the tired you get from carrying burdens that weren't yours but became yours. It was the tired you cold feel all over your body, almost like it was in your bones and in your blood and coursing through your body with every breath you take and every pump of your heart. This was what Harry felt, and he was getting tired of being tired but he didn't know what actions to take in order to change. He decided to start by getting out of bed and taking a shower. Harry dragged himself out of bed. Bumbling over to the bathroom through the dark, unlit house, Harry undressed, turned on the water, and while he waited for the water to heat up, turned on the radio. He popped in one of the CDs that were there (he just so happened to pick up Adam Lambert's _For Your Entertainment_) and went into the shower. When the water touched his body, Harry took the opportunity to just let the water slide down the front of his body and after a few minutes of this, bent his head forward so the water could hit his back. After a few more minutes of being enveloped by the wet heat of water, Harry lathered a washcloth and washed and rinsed himself off. He came out the shower feeling loads better and a bit more awake. He slipped on some jeans and a t-shirt and walked down to the kitchen to make a quick breakfast. After he finished preparing his oatmeal (Harry wasn't in the mood for anything too complicated), Harry sat down at the kitchen table with a cup of chamomile tea and though of how he could change his life.

**author's note:** yay! chapter two is done! sorry it took me a while to put it up, life decided to have his way with me. and yes, life is a guy. why? i don't know myself. that's just the way it is though. *shrugs* but anyways, look out for chapter three, coming soon! chapter three is kind of short though, about as long as this one but in a few more chapters, there will be a looooong one. it took me forever to write because i had lost motivation to write it, but it's done! but now you have to wait a while for that chapter to come… don't worry though, i'm going to get it done for you guys as soon as possible!


	3. chapter three

**author's note:** i'm VERY sorry for the ridiculously short chapters but when i'm writing them, it feels natural to end there. i'm sorry for disappointing you guys, but i can't help it. to me, that's where it ends, kind of like a scene change you know? i am trying to make longer chapters though, i really am. and actually, like i said in the author's note last chapter, longer chapters are soon to come. this chapter is about the same size as the last one and chapter four is longer than this. however, chapter five should be decently long but chapter six is looong. i'm so serious. it takes up like 5 pages in my composition notebook. but really, i'm terribly sorry the chapters are so short, but i really am trying really hard to make longer chapters. i hope that despite this, you guys keep reading anyways, but honestly, please keep telling me your opinions on this story. it really does help me!

**disclaimer:** nope. i don't own harry potter. if i did, well then *giggles* there would be a LOT more fraternizing between enemies if you get my drift…

**summary:** Harry was tired. Tired of people's expectations. Tired of not doing anything. Just tired of everything going on in his life. He doesn't want to live this tired life anymore, so, the question is, what is he going to do now?

_Harry Potter_

_Tired_

After sipping and finishing two steaming cups of tea, Harry hadn't progressed too much. The only thing he knew he should do was get control of his life but he was lost as to how to do that. Should he disappear from the wizarding world and go live in a quaint muggle town or city and earn a living there? Should he give up on magic altogether? Should he do whatever he wants to and consequences be damned? Should he threaten everyone into submission or leaving him alone?

Harry's head swirled with these questions and more. Feeling a headache coming on, Harry prepared another cup of tea and got some Advil and took four along with downing the cup of tea. He sat there for a few more minutes before finally getting up, washing the dishes and preparing himself to leave. After donning a jacket and a pair of oranges Converse, Harry stood in front of the door, breathing in and out to prepare himself for the outside world. He could already imagine the paparazzi that were waiting just outside, awaiting the chance to see him. with one final sigh, Harry turned the knob and stepped outside to flashing lights, clicking shutters and yelling questions.

**author's note:** chapter three: check! the author's note at the very top is in response to _mitremlap_. i really am trying guys. you're only going to have to deal with short chapters for another couple of chapters and then it's onto a long one. i'll start writing chapter seven soon and hopefully *crosses fingers* it will be long. wish me luck guys!


	4. chapter four

**author's note:** alright guys, so here's a new chapter for you! harry gets a bit… how do you say… badass? not major badass like he starts just doing whatever he wants and nobody can do anything to him, but he gets more of his backbone back… yeah. that's what happens. he grows a spine just a tad…. yep! sooo, i guess you want to new chapter then right? alright! here goes!

**disclaimer:** …yeah… no… i don't own harry potter. honestly though, if i did, why would i write stories for this website (not that it isn't the BEST website in existence) if i owned harry potter? i would literally be _rolling_ in money if i owned harry. j. k. rowling has like all the money the american government needs right now. back to what i was saying though, no, i don't own harry potter or anything related to it.

**summary:** Harry was tired. Tired of people's expectations. Tired of not doing anything. Just tired of everything going on in his life. He doesn't want to live this tired life anymore, so, the question is, what is he going to do now?

_Harry Potter_

_Tired_

Walking quickly to try to avoid the prying people, he felt irritated. He did his job. He defeated Voldemort, Tom Riddle, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, the Dark Lord and whatever else you want to call the person he killed in order to fulfill a prophecy. He helped in the reconstruction of the magical world and just left it at that. He declined becoming a professor at Hogwarts, becoming a quidditch player, becoming the Minister of Magic or just about any conceivable job there was. He did what he was forced to do since he was eleven. So, the question is, why were these people bothering him? He never did anything and he hardly ever left the house. What were they expecting him to do now? His pattern hadn't changed for years but every time he stepped out his house, it was like he had jumped into a tank full of piranhas. He stopped with this thought. Maybe now was a chance to try and change his life around? Maybe he could scare them away? That way the paparazzi wouldn't bother him any more and even if they did, they would be so timid that they wouldn't be able to do anything. Yeah. That seems like a good choice. So, with an abrupt turn, Harry faced the reporters and admirers and let loose a tremendous wave of magic, similar to when he had bouts of accidental magic, but a lot more concentrated, in both sense of the word. The crowd stopped dead in its tracks, shocked, but definitely mostly scared, of Harry. They saw him standing straight with power and confidence and saw his green eyes shining darkly, like a black diamond, with irritation and is clothes and hair fluttering around him slightly. Harry said one word but the intent behind it was clear as day.

The word?

'Leave.'

The intent?

'Come back again and you won't live to see tomorrow.'

**author's note:** yes. short. i know. but james patterson writes short chapters and nobody complains. in fact, he makes millions of dollars a year due to being a _new york times #1 bestseller_ for basically all 10 books he comes out with a year. but, then again, i'm not james patterson so… i guess i can't really get away with it huh? oh well. next chapter is longer than this, promise. by how much? i don't know, but it's longer and that's what counts right? after that it's the super long chapter i've been talking about. i really hope you guys like the story so far. please, if anything bothers you, don't be afraid to tell me! even if it's just to say you hate the story, it still helps me try and become a better writer and it lets me know what i can improve on. have a great day guys!


	5. chapter five

**author's note:** alright! one more chapter until the super long chapter! yaaaaay! this chapter is kind of long. it took up two and a half pages in my composition notebook. the other chapters either took up less than a page or a page or a page and then some. but it's almost here; that's the most important part, right? please be patient guys, okay? *begs*

**disclaimer:** no way, jose. *laughs* me own _harry potter_? please stop taking drugs. they're obviously affecting your thought process.

**summary:** Harry was tired. Tired of people's expectations. Tired of not doing anything. Just tired of everything going on in his life. He doesn't want to live this tired life anymore, so, the question is, what is he going to do now?

_Harry Potter_

_Tired_

The paparazzi froze for a minute, letting the magic flow over them, freezing them in place, scared to make a move. And then they scrambled away from Harry just so they could be the last one he dealt with. In record time, faster than when they gather to watch him leave his house, which was pretty fast mind you, the paparazzi left, already swearing to keep themselves away from Harry and also about writing a report on Harry's new development.

Harry watched them scamper off in amusement. He kept the power out for a bit after they left, to take care of any leftovers, and then stopped the outpour and went on his merry way.

Harry walked through Diagon Alley, checking to see if anything looked interesting or not. He stopped at Ollivander's to have a little chat with him, went to Flourish and Blotts to pick up some books and stationery and went to the apothecary to get some ingredients for some potions. He also went to the ice cream store for a treat (he got strawberry and coffee ice cream in a waffle cone), popped into the pet store to buy a snake and headed over to the quidditch store to get the latest supplies. Why the quidditch store? well, while Harry didn't play on a team like Puddlemere United or the Chudley Cannons, he did love to play quidditch. He still got the same thrill he did now as he did when he was at Hogwarts. the adrenaline rush, the excitement, the grim determination to catch the snitch, the challenge, the feeling of victory and glee he got when the snitch was in his hand raised over his head in celebration. The feelings were all still there and because it was something he loved to do, Harry made sure to keep on top of the latest equipment and whatever other going ons happening in the sport.

Harry finished whatever he needed to do in Diagon Alley and headed over to Knockturn Alley, looking for some interesting Dark Artifacts. He was looking for anything that caught his eye, really: an amulet that kills people who touch it, a cabinet that trapped people in it for an indefinite amount of time, or even a pair of shoes that like to eat people's feet. That was all really for show, though. while he may be irritated by his situation, Harry didn't really want to see people get hurt. So, instead of searching for items that would fulfill his more macabre and sadistic tastes, Harry searched Knockturn Alley for black market prices on extremely rare things.

Harry's shopping trip ended , and after making sure that everything he purchased had a feather-light charm on it and was small enough to fit into his pockets, he apparated to his home. Landing in the living room in front of the fireplace, Harry saw some pictures of his Hogwarts days. Most were with Ron and Hermione and the rest of the Weasley family, his dorm mates (Neville, Seamus and Dean), Luna, some Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws and the occasional Slytherin (tensions between Slytherin and the rest of the Houses, especially Gryffindor, eased tremendously during their last year of school). He stared at them sadly for a moment before heading to the kitchen and preparing some tea, lemon (herbal) this time. While the water boiled, Harry put his things away and after getting his tea, started to reflect on the past.

**author's note:** okay. maybe i should take back my statement of this being a longer chapter? … i don't know, but i'm pretty sure it's longer than the previous ones. i'm telling you though, next chapter… heh heh heh. it is long. clearly longer than what you've read so far. and if it's as short as these chapters, then i'm going to go eat some soap, which doesn't taste good. ick!


	6. chapter six

**author's note:** ohayo/konnichiwa/konban wa! chapter six is here below this author's note, disclaimer, summary and italicized words. i REALLY hope you guys like this chapter. it's longer than my previous ones! yay! *no one cheers* *nervous laughter* riiiiight. okay then. i'll leave.

**disclaimer:** the day i own _harry potter_ will be the day that i'm not a pervert and cracking 'that's what she said' jokes. hmm…. seems like you guys will be waiting for quite a while then.

**summary:** Harry was tired. Tired of people's expectations. Tired of not doing anything. Just tired of everything going on in his life. He doesn't want to live this tired life anymore, so, the question is, what is he going to do now?

_Harry Potter_

_Tired_

Sitting with his head down, hands around the cup and eyes staring into the tea, Harry began to reminisce.

FLASHBACK

Harry was enjoying himself to the utmost extreme. He had defeated the Dark Lord and the Wizarding World, he especially, was safe. He was having the time of his life. He was at some club (he couldn't tell you the name of the place)and he was dancing and drinking and just letting all the stress and tension he had built up over the years just let go. He had never felt this light or free before and he was exhilarated. He had so many reasons to celebrate. Voldemort was dead, first and foremost, Ron and Hermione were alive and so was Neville, Luna, Ginny and all the Weasley's minus Fred, Remus, Snape and all the other people who fought for the light side who managed to live through the last battle. He was sad that many good people had died but that sadness was overcome by the relief that he was alive. So tonight, he was going to drown himself in excitement (and maybe some alcoholic beverages) and celebrate the end of years of trouble.

FLASHBACK

A couple years had passed since Voldemort's defeat and Ron and Hermione came into Harry's house. They found him working out and they sighed. They were… disappointed. Every time they saw Harry, he was either working out, cooking, cleaning, sleeping or lounging about. In short, nothing. Harry was doing nothing and for the life of them, they couldn't figure out why. He was smart, handsome, funny, in excellent shape, personable, caring and so many other adjectives. They always saw him not doing anything and they had had enough. Today was the day to confront Harry about his lake of activity and participation in life.

Ron and Hermione walked over to where Harry was in his workout room, by the treadmill. He was listening to his iPod so instead of calling out, they moved up to him and tapped him and moved into his line of sight so he knew that they were there. He stopped his workout, took off his headphones and smiled at them. Ron and Hermione kind of cringed but were still resolved to tell Harry what they wanted to. Smiling softly back, Hermione began.

"Hey, Harry. Ummm… We wanted to talk to you about something."

"Alright. What's up?"

"… Harry. We're… we're worried about you."

"Why?"

"Well… You see… Harry… We're just nervous about your future, you know? What are you going to do with your life now? You aren't doing anything, Harry! All you do is… Nothing! Absolutely nothing! Sure. You work out to stay in shape and what not, but what about other than that? You're not doing anything with your life, Harry! We're worried about you, Harry, don't you see? We want you to do something with yourself. Get a job! Become a quidditch player! Be an Auror! Work as a Healer! HARRY! You absolutely need to get yourself together before you turn into nothing!"

Hermione was gasping for breath by the end of her speech, looking pleadingly at Harry, trying to somehow persuade him to do SOMETHING.

Ron stood by his wife's side, looking nervously around, but also not objecting to what Hermione said or adding his own two cents.

Harry stood facing them, mouth closed and eyes serious. He wasn't terribly surprised by what Hermione had said. After all, he knew that everyone had those thoughts on their minds and, in fact, it was a headline in _the Daily Prophet_ ("Boy Wonder: What Will He Do Now?"). He knew about these thoughts because they had also been bothering him as of late. He knew these thoughts, and understood what Hermione was saying, but he didn't understand why she was telling him. Yes, he's been lazy as of late, but she had no need telling him that. Didn't he think he already knew that? She didn't need to tell him that he should become something. Didn't she think he already knew that? She didn't need to tell him that he was going to become nothing. Didn't she think he already knew that?

Serious eyes turned into cold fury.

"Thank you, Hermione, for your amazing insight into my life," Harry said a bit sarcastically. "And thank you, Ron, for not saying anything and telling me your opinion," he added scathingly.

Why wasn't he saying anything? Ron's been Harry's best friend since the first time they met at King Cross Station all those years ago. Sure, Ron has turned his back on him, mainly due to jealousy, but he was always the first to come back and it was awkward for a while but they quickly fell back into their usual routine. Now, instead of saying something like he usually did, Ron remained as silent, but not as still, as stone. He stood there, looking this way and that and fidgeting and worrying his clothes. He looked like he wanted to say something but was purposefully keeping his mouth shut, so as to keep from offending Harry or he didn't have an opinion, Harry didn't know, but he knew he didn't like it.

"Nothing, huh, Hermione? I'll turn into nothing if I don't do anything? After spending most of my life fighting a Dark Wizard because of a prophecy a fake Seer told, I'm not entitled to taking a break? Is that what you're telling me, Hermione? Are you telling me I'm not allowed to become nothing! After _years_ of being known as 'Harry Potter: The Boy Who Lived' or 'Harry Potter: Boy Wonder'? After years of being judged and gawked at and being surrounded by rumors people automatically believed to be true? After years of dealing with jealousy and belittling and being thrown into one terrible situation into another terrible situation that always risked my life? After years of having things I should know, needed to know, stay secret until the last possible second? After being patronized constantly and being berated by society, that still continues until this day? After being abused, neglected and tortured, you have to audacity to tell me I need to do something? News flash, Hermione, it's not going to happen! I'm going to do what _I_ want to do! Not what you want me to do, not what Ron wants me to do and certainly not what the media and the public want me to do. I am going to do what I, Harry Potter, want to do. I am letting myself relax. I am taking a break from more than seven lifetimes of pain and stress. I am doing what I would like and want to do, Hermione, and if you have a problem with that, you know where the door is."

Harry was hoping that his friends would stay with him. He wanted them to stay with him, to show that they didn't care about what he was doing now that Voldemort was over and done for. He needed the reassurance that his best friends, Ronald Weasley and Hermione Granger, were 1000% behind him and had no problems with his lifestyle choice. Obviously he was wrong, they didn't agree with what he was doing, but could dismiss it as voicing disappointments. However, if they walked away, he would know, fully and without a doubt, that they didn't like what he was doing and that it would signify the end of their friendship.

Harry Potter looked at Ronald Weasley and Hermione Granger with hope and determination in his eyes. Hope because he wanted to keep their friendship and determination because he stuck behind his words.

Ronald Weasley and Hermione Granger looked at each other then back at Harry. Ron looked sad and resigned. Hermione looked angry and disappointed.

They both turned and walked away.

**author's note:** 5 PAGES! yes! this means i'm not eating soap! XP anyways, just to clear up in case you're confused. there are two flashbacks in this chapter. there are divided by the word FLASHBACK. that's really about it. also, the little sentence before the first FLASHBACK is the present tense and comes from last chapter. if there are any other concerns, please let me know. thanks for reading so far guys! it will take a while for the next chapter to be updated because i haven't written yet; i've been focused on another story that i've been writing that's almost finished. don't worry though! i'll try my hardest to make a speedy update! i just can't guarantee a specific date. i can guarantee that chapter seven will be here before the end of the month though… *sweatdrop*


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